By Jim Duzak
Dear Jim: : Is there something about men and apologies? In twenty-two years of marriage, my first husband never once apologized to me, at least not in a sincere way. The most I ever got from him was that “if” he offended me, then he was sorry. Now I’ve remarried and guess what? My new husband is the same way. He tells me I’m too sensitive, or that I ought to know when he’s just kidding, or that I shouldn’t take what he says personally when he’s in a bad mood. When someone calls you “stupid,” or makes insulting remarks about your appearance, I don’t think it’s being overly sensitive to take offense and to demand an apology. Do you agree? (“Deb”)
By Jim Duzak
Dear Jim: My husband and I have been married nine years. We both work full-time. He works hard at his job, but I do, too, which is why I’m annoyed that he never lifts a finger to help me at home. In nine years, he has never once loaded or emptied the dishwasher, washed or folded the clothes, done food shopping, or helped me clean the house. (OK, he takes out the trash).
We have a seven year-old learning-disabled son, but my husband only does the fun stuff with him, like taking him to McDonald’s or baseball games. I do the not-so-fun stuff, like dealing with his teachers and counselors, helping him with his homework, etc.
By Jim Duzak
Dear Jim: Eighteen months ago, I loaned my daughter (Melanie) and her husband (Scott) $90,000 to help purchase and renovate a coffee shop in Atlanta. The shop is profitable but it has indirectly led to the breakup of their marriage (Scott became involved with a 22 year-old barista they employed and Melanie has filed for divorce). Scott is now claiming that the money was a gift and that he has no obligation to repay any of it. There were no papers drawn up, but I always used the word “loan” in referring to the money, and Melanie will back me up on that. I’m close to retirement and I’m going to need that money soon. Melanie is willing to pay what she can, but right now she’s overwhelmed with everything and she’s not sure what’s going to happen with the business. What can I do? (“Ellen”)
by: Joanie Winberg
Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person’s life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.
It is suggested that you use this precious opportunity to rediscover yourself. Think of this time in your life as an adventure to explore the real you.
by: Janeen Diamond
Quote: “It feels good to come together as spouses, exes, children, step-children, half-siblings, whatever the case may be..."
During the Christmas season, I think we all have slightly bigger hearts than we do throughout the year. That’s why I think you might put some serious thought into this unusual idea.It’s not really mine -- at least it didn’t start out that way, but over time I have started to see the wisdom in it and accept it as a brilliant plan.
by: Tammy Greene
It would be hard to ignore the latest buzz in celebrity couple news. There has been little else talked about than the separation and impending divorce of
Hollywood's darling, Gwyneth Paltrow, and front man rock star, Chris Martin. This marriage of 10 years has been closely protected and kept out of the public eye, so news of the break up has come as a surprise and a blow to their adoring fans.
By: Patricia Bubash, Ed.S., LPC
“He is my best friend.” Not an unusual comment, but typically, we would surmise spoken by a woman, maybe even a man or even a relative. These words came from the lips of a wife.
It isn’t the first time I have heard a wife say this about her other half, but it is the first time that I “really” thought about the impact of a “best friend” relationship to a marriage- and even more impacting, on a remarriage.
by: Janeen Diamond, BA
Is it my imagination or are we living in a world gone mad?
Several of my friends have been suffering and worrying about the attitudes and choices of their grown children. It seems we’re back to that ‘anything goes’ mentality, and a lot of people are paying the price.
by: Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC
I want to know if I am married to an abuser. No, this is not a trick question. I am a professional 32 year old, recently married woman who is starting to notice things about my spouse and our relationship that may be red flags.