by: Tina Swithin
I have been described as a free-spirit on many occasions in my life.I’ve always been the happy-go-lucky one who can see the positives in every situation.When I first met Seth, a modern day Prince Charming, I was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ready to grab hold of life with all of my might. Seth was drawn to my carefree attitude and innocent curiosity of the world around me.
by: Allison Lloyd, LMFT
Many individuals, couples and families who seek out therapy report that they have a difficult time dealing with conflict in an effective way, often using aversive control strategies in the ineffectual attempts to change the behavior of those around them.
by: Nancy Lang
I want to know why we’re not required to take classes in relationships! We must learn the periodic table, the algebraic steps to figure out what ‘x’ equals, and dissect a frog; we can learn woodshop, pottery, automotive technology or electronic technology. But learning and understanding the differences between men and women, and the skills and nuances involved in dealing with relationships are not taught. Why??
by: Nancy Lang
The Universe can have a very ironic sense of humor. I recently had an altercation via e-mail with my ex-husband (about money of course), and all of my old buttons were not only pushed, but got stuck in ‘I’m hurt, I’m not respected, I’m not appreciated, I’m pissed, and I hate you!’ mode. For two days I stewed and chewed on the not so petty file in my memory drive, as I was reminded of the many reasons why we got divorced.
Article by Susan Trombetti in Children
Don’t try to make every woman you meet the mother of your children! Lots of times it comes naturally to a woman to nurture since we were brought up that way, but women don’t really want to wipe your child’s face and tie their shoe laces. She would rather be enjoying a romantic evening at a vineyard or a candlelight dinner with you and escaping life’s realities for a bit.
Article by Lisa Borchetta, MACP, CPC, ACC, in Wellbeing
It’s not uncommon for post-divorced individuals to look back with a critical eye at the reasons why they married their ex-spouse in the first place. That pervasive feeling that “clearly someone made a mistake somewhere” bubbles to the surface over and over again. After going through the process of separation and divorce where differences between you and your one-time partner become magnified it isn’t surprising that you would wonder, “What was I possibly thinking!?!” And while spending some time looking at your thought process and decision making factors may have some usefulness down the line, the results are often more likely to just stir the negative pot of emotions regarding how you feel about; the influential people in your life, your ex and yourself. The reality is that for whatever reasons you thought were good enough at the time – you chose to get married and it didn’t work out. So now what?
Yes it can! This is according to the couples I interviewed for my book, Successful Second Marriages. What prompted a book about second marriages?The failure of my own second marriage, and my admiration for remarrieds who found success in this second chance at love. Success, in spite of the negative numbers for second marriages. Statistics approximate that half of first marriages end in divorce. For second timers, the odds for staying together get even tougher. Two thirds of those taking the plunge-a second time, don't make it. With odds like these, it is surprising that more than half of those first time exes do remarry. But they do! Because we are a nation in love with
by: Gary Stokes
Most of the married people I’ve interviewed over the past year subscribe to the marital rule that we should not try to change our spouse.
This myth dams up the potential of our marriage, so let’s adopt a new rule that allows us to emerge beyond even the best of conventional marriages:
We must help each other change with love, encouragement, and challenges !
by: Tammy Greene
We have all seen it, the couple that is focused on their phones rather than talking to each other, or the couple that sits together over dinner and doesn’t say a word to each other.Maybe that couple is you.
We have also witnessed the couple that sits over their meal arguing, easily wasting precious date time together by spending it bickering.Maybe that couple is you.
Research shows that couples that make date nights a part of their regular routine are proven to have longer lasting and healthier marriages. In order to accomplish this in your own marriage, you need to, not only, have regular date nights, but to make an effort to make the dates you have meaningful ones. It is near impossible to have a meaningful date if couples don’t communicate or if they communicate all of the wrong things.
by: Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC
Dear Toni- My wife has changed over the course of our 15 year marriage. The woman I married used to be fun, upbeat, positive and had a number of good friends. Now she is socially withdrawn, rarely smiles and everything out of her mouth is negative- from the little day to day discussions to those dealing with the larger issues. I have attempted different ways to address my concerns and feelings- from pointing out something she has just said, to encouraging her to lighten up and try to let go of the things that cause her more stress, to suggesting she make time to go out with friends, work out at the gym or just do something nice for herself. Her response is always along the lines of how there is no time, she is too tired and/or has to much to do at home- or that family needs have taken over and she can only cope with so much
by: Jim Duzak, JD
I’ll never know for sure if counseling could have saved my first marriage (which ended in divorce after seven years), but I do know this: I was stupid not to give it a try.
Back then, I was young enough and arrogant enough to think that no one could possibly tell me something about myself or my marriage that I didn’t already know. What I failed to realize is that everyone, myself included, has blind spots. In fact, our biggest blind spots are the ones right in front of our eyes.