by: Tina Swithin
There seems to be a great deal of discussion surrounding the power of forgiveness as it relates to divorce. Forgiveness seems to be a buzz word in religious teachings, self help books and a regular topic on the Oprah Show. Even my therapist seems to cling to the word! We are taught that in order to be free, we must forgive.
by: Gary Stokes
Often, we lose our poise with our spouse of partner, not over significant challenges, but over small provocations in the most mundane circumstances. Mary, my wife, laughs with me now about this incident of lost poise, but she didn’t find it humorous when it happened, neither did I.
Here Mary tells The Bubble Wrap Story, as it has come to be known in our house:
by: Jennifer Cummings, Ph.D.
Have you ever thought your relationships would be a lot better if you were just a better communicator? “If only I were more direct, more diplomatic, more expressive, more eloquent, more SOMETHING!”
Of course, being a good communicator does help relationships. Expressing yourself openly and skillfully, with clarity and disclosure helps forge meaningful bonds, and just helps you get through the day. But as we know (and often forget), being a good communicator isn’t just about talk.
by: Lisa Borchetta, MACP, CMC, ACC
My job here is to use my knowledge and expertise as a former mental health counselor and a certified life coach to assist people before, during and after a divorce with information that will assist them and their families in negotiating this challenging and difficult transition. That’s what I do – and I am happy to do it. But based on the tragic events of this week’s Boston Marathon – I feel pressed to take a slight detour today – and hope that you too, will see the common thread.
by: Dr. Felicia Clark
Dating after divorce, where do you start?This is one of a 5-part series that teaches women how to have the thriving relationship of their dreams, instead of just surviving their failed marriage. Should you get a new hairstyle, lose weight, or get a makeover? How do you compete with a bunch of hot young women? Well, you don’t – unless you just want sex. Women are often taught to attract men through triggering their mating instinct, or stimulating sexual attraction. This is the lowest form of attraction, can be devoid of connection, and often sets the stage for a difficult relationship.
by: Jim Duzak, JD
Having been, at various times, a divorce lawyer, a divorce mediator, and an advice columnist, I know that in marriage things aren’t always as they seem.
I’ve had people tell me they’re gay but that they’re terrified of breaking the news to their spouse. I’ve had people tell me about their sexless marriages or their extramarital affairs. An ostensibly happily-married woman once told me that she can’t wait for her husband to die so that she can start living again.
by: Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC
This may seem like an overreaction on my part, but I think my spouse is addicted to technology. At first, it was a lot of checking emails throughout the weekend and playing online games every weeknight for an hour or so. However, over time this has progressed to spending several hours an evening online and even more time on the weekends. Both our couple and family time have diminished and too often I feel like a single parent- handling all the children’s homework,
by: Gary Stokes
In marriage, one of us is at least a bit ahead of the other at any particular moment. And some of the time, one of us is quite a bit ahead.
The partner who is ahead needs to reach back and help the other catch up.
It’s the nature of the love relationship that one partner has more awareness,
by: Sharon Rivkin, MA, MFT
We’re a cult of list makers. We make to-do lists, grocery lists, packing lists, and now a list of must-have qualities for our potential partner.She needs to be independent, yet be devoted; he needs to earn a good living, yet have enough time for her.He needs to have follow-through on his promises; she needs to not be demanding.And on it goes.If some of these qualities don’t appear right away, do you end the relationship?Or how long should you stay if all the items on your list aren’t there?
by: Tammy Greene
Whether you are newly remarried or not, there is one thing we all have in common… the In-Laws.Having to deal with the nuances of your spouse’s family, particularly their parents, can be incredibly challenging.Maybe their personality clashes with yours, maybe they are crude and inappropriate, overly attached to your spouse, or always feeling the need to make their opinions known.Whatever the case may be,
by: Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC
My spouse and I are unable to handle our finances productively, which results in frequent conflicts about how and what has been spent, money being wasted due to not having a workable system and budget, concerns about meeting our financial obligations - and the related stress that impacts other aspects of our relationship and family life as well.