The Happiness Tree: Growing a Fulfilling Relationship

Cultivating means that the husband is providing for,improving, preparing, and tending to what will grow. Think of an apple tree. It must be provided with good soil, water and sunlight in order to grow apples. It must have proper weather conditions, too. The tree transforms the nutrients received into something greater. That is true appreciation; to raise the value of what was given. The tree appreciated the nutrients being provided by receiving them and producing apples. The apples were appreciated by feeding and nurturing its provider. The tree must be provided with more nutrients at the right time in order to repeat the cycle of growing a new crop.

Growing happiness:

The apple tree can teach you how to grow happiness. The masculine essence provides the water and soil to the tree. The feminine essence creates the unseen transformational process whereby the tree absorbs nutrients from its roots and from the sun in order to grow fruit. The quality of the fruit depends on the nourishment provided, how well the nourishment was received, and good weather conditions. Notice that the tree must absorb sunshine on its own which means that the masculine does not provide 100% of what the feminine needs. That is why it is unfair to ask a man to figure out what a woman needs to properly grow fruit?Watching how feminine energy transforms elements into a whole new thing can look like magic. Can you figure out how a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat? You can watch it a million times and still not know everything that the magician needs.That is why a woman has to explicitly communicate her needs without resenting a man for not figuring it out. Additionally, women can’t see all of what a man needs, either.

Things a spouse does not need or value:

When left to guessing, men and women provide things that their spouse neither needsnor values. Those things truly are unappreciated, waste resources, and build resentment. It is like men watering the tree off season expecting fruit to grow or like women growing apples from a dehydrated tree. Both did what they were supposed to do. However, without working together at the right time, the tree can’t produce good fruit. By the time the provider starves from inedible apples, it is too late to water the tree. Therefore, to keep the cycle in balance, the woman must get what she needs before she can happily give what the man needs. She must communicate effectively and explicitly (never in coded language) that water is needed long before the point of dehydration.

The woman’s role:

So, to grow a happiness tree, the woman has to communicate what fertilizes her soil. For many women, relaxation, getting enough sleep and help with household duties fertilizes her soil far more than more material possessions. A woman must know what she needs and effectively communicate it. A man must be BOTH willing and able to provide for a woman’s needs (different from wants) at the right time.A woman then must receive well and add value to the gift by transforming it into something greater to be shared. Most importantly, both must know what the tree is growing before they start the growing process.

Co-creating happiness together:

Can you see how a husband can find happiness in cultivating (e.g.providing for a woman’s needs) when shetransforms what she receives into what nourishes him? Children are something a man and woman create together. What else will you co-create? What kind of home? What quality of life? What will you have together that neither one of you can have apart?

Remember, even with teamwork, weather conditions aren’t controlled by the feminine or masculine.Man and woman must submit to and work in harmony with nature which comes with rules. Therefore, spiritual practices are important. They offer guidance on effective rules that prepare you for a good harvest. They also you to survive a bad growing season?What spiritual practices will you both follow to grow healthy happy fruit?

Dr. Clark’s coaching practice helps women embrace their feminine energy (e.g. Queen) to experience happiness. This lesson was from the unit: “Queens Have What They Need.”Divorced, single, or married women can benefit from this unit by learning to determine, communicate, and receive what they need. Learn more at www.ebooklifecoach.com.


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