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Stay Connected!

by: Tammy Greene

Let’s face it, life is crazy. Trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives is overwhelming. Work, family commitments, school, soccer, dance classes, friends, health, birthday parties, holidays, babies, and so on. Sometimes we look back on the week and wonder where it went.

Our busy lives are filling up every second. One of the challenges I face, as a result of this, is trying to stay connected to my husband. Sometimes a couple of days will go by and I have a hard time remembering when the last time I gave him a hug or a kiss was. That does not breed a healthy relationship. 

To keep my marriage strong I have to stay connected. These are a few of the things that have helped me stay connected to my husband. You might find them helpful too.

Start your days with an affirmation of Love: Before work, children, headaches and fatigue can set in, make sure that your spouse feels your love. Start the day off with a connection. A really great kiss, a sweet hug, or at the very least a sincere, looking in the eyes “I love you. Have a great day.” It may sound simple, but simple things can go a long way. A steamy kiss can leave me thinking about my husband all day, anxious to see him again.  Start your day with an intentional connection to your spouse.

Regular Date Nights: Regular date nights are an absolute must for a healthy marriage. Date night doesn’t have to mean getting dressed up, hiring a babysitter and going to dinner. It could mean getting grandma to watch the kids at her house and going back home for pizza on the living room floor. If a sitter is too hard to come by, schedule regular date nights, at home, after the kids go to bed. Stay unplugged, play a game, have dessert, ask silly questions, focus on each other and  get to know each other again. Make date night an absolute priority. Put it on the calendar so there are fewer excuses to back out. My husband and I have date night every Wednesday. It has become a regular thing that we both look forward to all week. The busier our lives become, the easier it is to take things for granted. 

An underappreciated spouse will become a disconnected spouse: It is imperative to show each other appreciation.  Look for the opportunities to say “Thank You,” to your spouse. For the little things like taking out the trash to big things like going to work everyday so that you can have a better life. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. Make sure that your spouse knows that you appreciate all that they do. Say “Thank you,” and say it often. I always feel more connected to my spouse when I feel appreciated by him.

Get Away Together: Looking back on your relationship, when did you feel most connected, passionate, and happy?  It was probably in the early days. Maybe it was before children or career. Maybe it was when you were dating. One reason for this is because, in the early days, you spend a tremendous amount of time alone together. Going on dates, talking on the phone, maybe doing some travel. Then, as marriage and life sets in, that alone time starts to dwindle, often dwindling down to nothing. I challenge you to change that. Married couples must take time to be alone.  Get away for a couple of days every so often. If funds are tight, send the kids to Nana’s or Aunties for a few days and stay at home. You will be amazed at how far a couple of days, reconnecting and loving each other, can carry your relationship. 

This has become a priority in my own marriage. A few times a year, we get away, just the two of us for a short retreat. It has made all of the difference in my marriage. It is easy to get disconnected from our spouses. We each have so much on our plates. So many things to do and so many places to be. But, a happy marriage makes for a happy life.

By making a conscious effort to stay connected, you are giving your marriage all of the nutrients it needs to thrive.

Tammy Greene is a graduate of the University of La Verne. She has worked as a Child Life Specialist and social workerassisting families who have children with illness or mental disabilities. Tammy is a producer of the national PBS children’s television show, Curiosity Quest. She has a blog, Married and Naked, where she shares personal lessons learned from her own life, offering helpful ways to navigate through the challenges of marriage. Tammy is happily married to her high school sweetheart and is the mother of two. Tammy is a contributing expert forHopeAfterDivorce.org,FamilyShare.com,LAFamily.com, andCupidsPulse.com. Visit Tammy’s Curiosity Quest website,www.curiosityqueststore.com. Follow her blog, MarriedandNaked, atwww.married-and-naked.com.

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