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Back Into Dating (Online) - Increase the Chances of Being Clicked!

by: Rossana Condoleo

We all end up using online dating services, at least once in our life. After separation/divorce it becomes almost obvious: the art of appealing for the sake of attracting a partner in our life has become as abstract as one Kandinsky´s Paint. Moreover, time seems never to be enough, especially in the midst of big divorce-generated changes, to just go out and make casual acquaintances.

Before starting to “look”, my first advice, like I wrote in my book “HAPPY DIVORCE” is:

Open you heart to Love: love Love and the feeling of being loved in a Sensual, Sexual and Spiritual way.

Most marriages ending with divorce lacked at least two of the three above components. You might need to awaken body & soul while preparing for a great new age of Love conquests. This is the time to polish your appearance, if needed - “HAPPY DIVORCE” includes a chapter about this subject. In essence:

First enjoy playing, then enter the game!

This new regenerating exciting feeling of love expectation also helps to cope with the uneven sides of newly acquired “single” status. You decide…not your parents, not your friends, not your children, or whoever else, what you want next! Love can be short-, long-lasting, intermittent, serious, blasphemous, weird, flirtatious, binding, free, and so on. You must feel at ease and aligned with your wishes in order to be happy and successful in your quest for Love. Be true with yourself and prospect partners. If you want to flirt don’t make any promise. An ethical attitude always pays back! Women are fine receivers, particularly in their 40s and over. If you want big fishing you must provide big bait. No short ways, no discounts, no tricks.

Description: Appearance, age, etc. - You have registered by a dating website, and are required to enter your first data.

It has really no use that you affirm to be forty years when you are twenty years older. Same goes for your physical traits.

Apart from getting poor after-date chances (waiting for Brad Pitt and having dinner with Denny de Vito instead…is B-A-D!), the risk to be banned is high.

There are hundreds when not thousands of niche offers, dating websites thought and targeted to a specific clientele.

You can find them by Googling:

+singles +website +dating +”your special trait/wish”.

This way I found, for example, websites for overweight singles, for older looking for younger and for every size.

Income: There are only a few websites where you are obliged to insert a value, otherwise you are free, if you are not listed in the Forbes World´s Billionaires, to leave it blank.

Byline: It is that phrase or couple of lines you are required to add to your picture to catch the attention of your “Fish”.

Never let the Byline blank! Use the advantage of telling something luring but honest. This is your Promo! It causes beautiful female exemplars to “CLICK” and check your profile, instead of looking further.

Think of your best qualities as a person, as the half of a couple, and as a parent if you are a Dad. Describe what you are good at. Ask women in your closest friend network what they like about you. They might highlight interesting characteristics which you previously ignored.

 

Ponder on each word, competition is huge out there. Be short. Possibly use the Twitter style… “adjective + substantive” instead of sentences; for example:

 

“I very much like cooking for family and friends” becomes “great social cooker

“I am good at observing the rhythms of nature and responding accordingly, so that my garden, my job and my family life are harmoniously run by universal laws” becomes “spiritual nature-lover”.

 

Finally, reserve a couple of words to what you look for in a woman, and filter unwanted contacts.

 

About you - Profile: The longer description usually requested after the first round of general data collection should follow the same rule: short, appealing and honest. It is advisable to include eventual chronic diseases and/or other critical information which might heavily affect the life style or life quality of your future partner. For example, diabetes or being father of 8 living with you, or having a night job. Ideally, you should write your profile in the form of a short Story, containing:

 

10% your past

10% your work

20% your interests, hobbies

10% ideals and life projects

20% what you offer to a woman

20% what you want to do with your dream woman and,

last but not least

10% description of your ideal woman.

 

Organizing your Profile/Long Description as a Story means 50% more possibilities to be remembered, that is literally coming out from the masses. Therefore, NO LISTS but A STORY! You can ask or pay for help if you are not a natural-born writer.

 

There are a number of dating-profile editors online.

Try by googling: +dating +profile +editing.

 

Profile Picture: Here we are! This is the very reason why I started writing this article. A dominant percentage of Men Profile Pictures discourages any woman’s positive attempt to get new acquaintances through the Internet. I appreciate much more the effort of those using Photoshop, since “improving” is the key. The phenomenon is statistically important, interesting more than 70% of men pictures, which I have seen around on dating websites, including those with expensive memberships. Women are used to think in terms of “appearance”, while men have grown up focusing on their inner qualities, the power of money, their social competences. Forget it! We like to see how good you look! We rather chose to click a profile with a smiling picture than that of a man looking very depressed or weird. As far as separated and divorced women are concerned, WE are tired of dealing with problems and are eager to enjoy the frivolous sides of life. Every woman wants to like her man. It seems I am saying something obvious. But if you come to my side of the screen, you will notice that at the base of the problem there must be some false assumptions and beliefs about what women find interesting or are able and willing to tolerate in a man. For example, it is false the assumption that all women like funny-looking men.

 

A good picture is your first investment on a dating web-site…

THE Investment!

 

You may want to have a professional photo shooting done, and chose from 1 to 3 appealing pictures for the joy of your female visitors. This is what came out in my personal survey and what you should avoid. Enjoy!

 

  • Blurred pictures are romantic.

 

  • My blurred picture with me turning my back is hilarious.

 

  • I know for sure that my clown-face makes women want for more!

 

  • The toilet in background is just gorgeous; we must always remember that we are human beings, better said…animals…just of a more intelligent species!

 

  • My children are far more photogenic than dad. This is why I let them occupy the whole picture! Moreover, it is now clear that I am a family man, a very engaged father. She must first and foremost be a good mother. Love will come!

 

  • My white t-shirt is the last fashion trend worldwide! OK…no longer so white after 5 days, but anyway an eye-catcher.

 

  • My closed eyes are beautiful, since every woman can put the color she wants over there!

 

  • I love my pets above all, and she must know it before engaging. And yes, they will continue to sleep in my bed…my 2 dogs, my Guiney pig and my 2 Siam cats. All of them, of course!

 

  • Ungroomed is macho.

 

  • Oversize outfits bring her to climax.

 

  • The picture with my ex-wife hugging and kissing is the proof that I am a great lover and a relationship-oriented man.

 

  • This in the background is my home and my castle. I am sure that every woman will be eager to make all tidy and buy some pieces of furniture as soon as she moves here.

 

  • Yes, this is my mom; and the one right behind her is me. She uses to take the scene in all circumstances! But I love her.

 

  • Women love to wait. They want it slow! I thought that no-picture is a sign of understanding women deep nature and expectations. There is always time, later on, to send a picture.

 

  • Yes…Ferrari, Yacht, Villa in Malibu were mine, but I lost them all during my last trip in Las Vegas.

 

  • I don’t see what´s the matter with my white, rather invisible hair and the 40 years of age I declared! I feel I am still young at 70…Picture or non-Picture!

 

  • I do not often smile, and I thought she must also know how sad I am! This is a way to be true to myself and to my future partner! Give me a Kleenex, please!

 

  • Yes, I am really proud of all my children, there was not enough room for us all in the picture, therefore I left them alone.

 

  • Yes, my faith is very important to me, and the one pound gold crucifix hanging over my naked hairy chest makes it clear who comes first.

 

  • Oh, sorry…that is Jenny, my personal assistant. She went to the photo-shooting at my place while I was chairing a stakeholders meeting! But you can trust her 100%. I will personally put my signature on all of her emails.

 

  • Hey…make not a drama out of it, girl! My old black-and-white Polaroid displays a wonderful baby smile! Women are known to have a great imagination. They must have the possibility to use it once in a time!

 

  • Sun glasses are absolutely a must in a portrait picture. They confer a dramatic look, which intensifies a woman experience and perception while visiting my profile. Everybody should wear sun-glasses on their dating-profile pictures!

 

  • No, it´s neither me nor my dad in the picture. Of course! Yesterday was my grand-pa 10th death anniversary; this picture is in his memory. Anyway, do you have anything against relating to a much older guy?

 

  • Please, don’t be so selective, difficult and intolerant about pictures! I just picked the first I found on Men´s Health. So what? He looks very much like I do, apart from the body.

 

  • I never-never-never put pictures online or send any via e-mail. You never-never-never know what people will use them for! For example, photomontages showing me in a porno pose, these things, you know! So…no exception. A woman must accept me as I am, entirely for my soul, not for my appearance, anyway!

 

  • Yeah, I was eating pizza and the white lava coming out from my mouth is simply mozzarella cheese.

 

  • I just find fair that a woman connecting to me is enabled to learn how really I am from the very first contact. This is why I show up pretty naked on all my pictures. You know what you “buy”!

 

  • When I was uploading my picture, in that very precise moment, you know, the hurricane Gina hit my town. This is why you see only half of my picture. My upper body is forever lost in the hurricane or in the internet…who knows! But from my hairy legs it is quite clear that you have to do with first choice male stuff!

 

  • It was a bit dark in my room when I took this picture, I must admit it! But in the end, if you put your screen under a light source, you will be able to see my nose.

 

  • I wished to share with “her” the song of my life. That is why I featured the cover of my favorite CD!

 

  • It is indeed embarrassing, but what I can really tell you about it, is that it was not me to subscribe, but my mom. After divorcing for the fourth time, she wants me to get married again…ASAP. She believed it was also a good idea to show how much we care for each other. No…the bearded guy on the right is my mother; that on the left, wearing a Lycra pink overall, is me!

 

Nature is very important to me. I am a natural creature. I like surrounding myself with natural things. A digital picture is not natural at all. When you put it online they add strange light effects, and enhance the colors. It just wouldn´t be me the man on the picture! I sent a picture of my olive tree instead, which really embodies all what I am…a solid…green…unmovable…“natural being”, paying alimony to 4 ex-wives. I love nature more than human beings. It’s a pity I cannot have sex with my olive tree!

Rossana Condoleo, http://www.rossanacondoleo.com is an Eclectic Forward Thinker, an International Writer and a Life-Coach dedicated to Help People live a Happy and more Fulfilled Life. She is a contributing expert for HopeAfterDivorce.org, FamilyShare.com, CupidsPulse.com. Rossana authored “HAPPY DIVORCE: How to turn your divorce into the most brilliant and rewarding opportunity of your life!” on Amazon amazon.com/dp/148181897X & Amazon worldwide viewBook.at/B00BH3IVQE. On GoodReads http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17444267-happy-divorce, FB Fan Page https://www.facebook.com/happydivorce.hdp, Twitter https://twitter.com/RossanaCondoleo @rossanacondoleo. Rossana Condoleo’s Life-Coaching Challenges at InvivoPlay http://invivoplay.com/rossana.condoleo/challenges.

 

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