4 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Spouse

by: Tammy Greene

Let’s face it, life is crazy!

Trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives is overwhelming. Work, family commitments, school, soccer, dance classes, friends, health, birthday parties, holidays, babies, and so on. Sometimes we look back on the week and wonder where it went.

Our busy lives are filling up every second. One of the challenges you might face, as a result of this, is staying connected to your spouse. But, putting your relationship on the back burner can quickly breed cracks in the foundation of marriage. And a cracked foundation can often be difficult to repair. To prevent this from happening, it is important to make your marriage a priority despite all the challenges and stress the days throw at you.

To keep your marriage strong it is important to stay connected to each other. Here are a few ideas to help you stay connected to your spouse.

1. Affirm Your Love, Before the Day Begins

Start the day off with a connection. Before work, children, headaches and fatigue can set in, make sure that your spouse feels your love. Begin the day with a really great kiss, a sweet hug, or at the very least a sincere “I love you.” It may sound simple, but it’s often the simple things that can make the biggest difference in a relationship. Something as simple as a steamy kiss can leave your spouse thinking about you all day. Start your day with an intentional connection to your spouse.

2. Say Thank You!

We all desire to feel appreciated, but oftentimes we forget the power of the two simple words, “Thank you.” Look for the opportunities to say “thank you” to your spouse. Show your appreciation for little things like taking out the trash as well as the big things like going to work everyday so that you can have a better life. Don’t let gratitude go unspoken. Make sure that your spouse knows that you appreciate all that they do. Say “Thank you,” and say it often. Your spouse will feel more connected to you when they feel appreciated by you.

3. Schedule Date Nights

Regular date nights are an absolute must for a healthy marriage. But, date night doesn’t have to be complicated. The purpose of a date night is to reconnect with each other. That could mean doing something as simple as asking Grandma to watch the kids at her house and going back home for pizza on the living room floor. If a sitter is too hard to come by, schedule regular date nights, at home, after the kids go to bed. Stay unplugged, play a game, have dessert, ask silly questions, and focus on each other.

4. Bon Voyage

Looking back on your relationship, when did you feel most connected, passionate, and happy? It was probably in the early days when you were dating. One reason for this is because, in the early days, you spend a tremendous amount of time alone together. Going on dates, talking on the phone, maybe doing some travel. Then, as marriage and life sets in, that alone time starts to dwindle, often dwindling down to nothing. But, maintaining a healthy marriage requires couples to continually take time to be alone.

Stay connected with your spouse by getting away for a couple of days. If funds are tight, send the kids to Nana’s or Aunties for a few days and stay at home. You will be amazed at how far a couple of days, reconnecting and loving each other, can carry your relationship.

It is easy to get disconnected from our spouses. We each have so much on our plates. So many things to do and so many places to be. But, putting everything else before our marriages can lead to some serious and sometimes irreparable damage. Make your marriage a priority and stay connected to your spouse. By making a conscious effort to stay connected, you are giving your marriage all of the nutrients it needs to be healthy and thrive.


Tammy Greene is a graduate of the University of La Verne. She has worked as a Child Life Specialist and social worker assisting families who have children with illness or mental disabilities. Tammy is a producer of the national PBS children’s television show, Curiosity Quest. She has a blog, Married and Naked, where she shares personal lessons learned from her own life, offering helpful ways to navigate through the challenges of marriage. Tammy is happily married to her high school sweetheart and is the mother of two. See Tammy’s Curiosity Quest website at www.curiosityqueststore.com. Follow her blog, MarriedandNaked, at www.married-and-naked.com.

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